Speedy's Intervention
by SylverEyes
Summary: Oneshot: It was a coat closet. Nothing impressive. Just a five foot by ten foot room. "Uh, hey guys..." Speedy has never had a stranger experience, and it's very likely that he never will again. :Rated for some implications and angry teen dirty mouths.:


Hey, guys! First oneshot in a long time... it feels pretty good too. ^_^ Okay, so, this is a oneshot dedicated to Phina because she loves Speedy and she loves this ship and she has been waiting for this for months so... here you go, Phina! This may perhaps be an early birthday present, but if I think of something before January, then it's just a gift. I hope you all enjoy.

**Disclaimer: **The Titans would not want to be owned by me... mwahaha!

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Speedy nearly had a heart attack when he was pulled into a side room that he previously hadn't known even existed, by hands belonging to invisible people.

When Speedy had been initially asked to Tower West, he hadn't had any reason to be suspicious. After all, the two teams, although sometimes rivals (he really had to talk to Bee and Robin about their competitive streaks), were in actuality good friends. When crime was slow in either of the cities, the teams would invite each other over to hang out, and perhaps do some joint investigations or crime fighting. It was nothing unusual.

When Speedy had opened the communication link between the two towers, he had been slightly disappointed that it was Robin and not Raven who was calling him. After this first let down, he relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy a short conversation with his friend. During the exchange of pleasantries, Robin had been uptight. That didn't surprise him in any way; the Boy Wonder had never been good at casual conversation.

And the fact that he, after shouting to Aqualad that there was going to be a party at Tower West, had been told firmly and immediately that he was to come _alone_ might have been something that should have set warning bells off in his head.

Of course, he had thought nothing of it. There had been his first reaction of, "Why?" which had been quickly answered with the statements that in case something came up in Steel City, there needed to be enough Titans over there to handle it. Speedy had thought that this was logical, and if he was honest with himself, he was feeling rather smug that he got a vacation and the others didn't.

The archer had checked in with Bumblebee of course, before he had given a definite yes. That conversation had resulted in a shouting match between the two leaders of the two teams. Thinking back on it, Speedy grinned widely. Watching interactions between the two hard heads Bee and Robin was always good fun.

His leader had been adamant that if he went, so did at least one other. "Asking only one of us over? Not only is that stupid, it's just plain rude. Are you insinuating that you don't want the rest of us over there?"

Robin's mask had narrowed as his eyes did. "Are _you _implying that we would be so rude as to favor one of you over another?" he growled, leaning forward into his monitor so that he appeared bigger on the screen.

Bumblebee was clearly not intimidated, "Boy, you better not be saying what I think you are. I understand about Steel, 'cause it's hell, but if Speedy goes, so does Aqualad. No question about it, Robbie-boy."

Speedy frowned to mask how hilarious he thought the two were. "Hey, don't I get any say in this?" he wondered out loud. "I mean, it is me that Rob wanted to come over, right? What if I just want to get to visit my friends?"

Two death glares had been sent his way, and he swore that he could see little bolts of electricity dancing over Bee's body. "You stay out of this," came out through gritted teeth from his leader. She clenched a fist and leaned heavily on the ledge, something that he knew was not a good sign for anyone involved. He backed off with his hands up in surrender, a smirk still playing around his lips.

"I think the only reason that you don't want me to go is that you just like to fight with Rob," he told her, trying to gain control of his smiling expression.

Bumblebee stood up and faced him, her expression murder, "Speedy. Get _out_!"

The archer did so, chuckling the entire way, and straining his ears to catch as much of the following argument as he could.

"Bumblebee, this is important. Speedy's an ass; don't you want to get rid of him for a few days?"

That stung, a little. Even if it was true (which it _obviously _wasn't), then there was not need to be bandying it around like it was common knowledge, or some such crap. He did somewhat have some self-pride!

"Damn, Wonder Blunder, didn't know you cared. Why in _hell _do you need one of my boys out there with you? Do you even have a reason?" the unmistakable sound of that clenched fist being slammed onto the console, and the small explosion of extra electricity being shoved into it.

"That's none of your business."

"Give me a straight answer or so help me I'll shoot you with my stingers and take the consequences that Rae-girl and Star dish out to me…!"

Speedy shook with laughter as he leaned against the automatic door and listened in on the two. They really were the best entertainment that he had had in a long time. Together they sounded like an old married couple. And he would say that to their faces, too, if he was suicidal enough to voice an opinion like that aloud.

In the end, Robin had come out on top, using the clinching argument that Raven was Speedy's girlfriend, and shouldn't they have time to bond, seeing that they had to live across the country from each other nearly the entire year? He pointed out that Raven hated long distance relationships, and her breaking it off with Speedy would undeniably hurt him considerably.

There had also been the undertones of his usual "I'm the leader of Titans West, and as a secondary branch of Titans you answer to me," in his voice, but Robin hadn't said that out loud. Bee wasn't stupid though- she picked up on it. And she didn't take too kindly to it either, but as he didn't vocalize she did nothing more than assure him that the next time she saw him in person a real ass-kicking was in order.

Speedy had been in the path of her frustration as well. Her glare had burned him to a crisp as he whooped with glee and began pulling some strings to get him an immediate plane ticket to the west coast after exchanging quick goodbyes with Aqualad, Mas and Menos.

He had clapped her on the back as he passed, "Thanks for being a sport, leader-girl."

The resulting string of expletives was colorful enough to make a sailor blush.

But once he had made it to the west tower he had been expecting some sort of welcoming party. A few of them lounging in the control room, playing videos games or watching TV was what he had been imagining. And if he was lucky, Raven coming to the door and greeting him with one of her small Raven-smiles that he felt so privileged every time he received.

There hadn't been anyone. The main room was empty, and gave a hollow feeling to the tower. There hadn't been any noises that he could hear anywhere else in the structure either. Speedy felt slightly put out; he had been asked to come all the way across the country to a tower where no one cared enough to show up once he arrived?

Once he had walked over the threshold, that was when he had been so inconsiderately assaulted and dragged into the little side room that no one ever paid any attention to because no one really ever knew that it existed.

Once the hands had been taken off of him, no longer restraining the archer, did he get to see what the room actually was.

It was a coat closet.

Nothing impressive. Just a five foot by ten foot room (because there could be a _lot _of Titans' coats sometimes) into which had been shoved a far too large metallic table. Four menacing figures stood in the shadows in various threatening poses. Speedy assumed them to be the Titans, although he was at as a loss as to why they would attack him and drag him into the cramped space in the first place.

"Uh, hey guys…" he said, attempting to conceal the utter shock that must have been on his face in favor of the casual grin he normally wore. "It's nice to see you, I guess…"

The four pairs of eyes that glared at him were oozing something that was distinctly not friendly. He smiled even broader, trying to charm them into relaxing, and fool himself into believing that he wasn't nervous. Because the way that they were acting could not possibly be called normal.

"Speedy." It was a hard statement, and somehow made the archer want to flinch at its intensity. But he kept his back straight, and sat in his uncomfortable wooden chair and he stared Robin in the mask that was a mirror image of his own.

"Hey, Rob," he greeted him. Robin's hands were spread palm down on the table, and he looked like he meant business. There was nothing in his tone of voice that implied the two had ever been friends. Speedy really didn't like where this was going, so he tried to change the subject off-handedly, "Where's Rae? I would have expected my girl to be here with you guys and join you in the ritual of such a warm welcome."

Cyborg now stepped forward to stand beside Robin, towering over his leader and looking extremely intimidating. "Raven's not here right now," he told Speedy matter-of-factly. "She's out at a poetry reading, and won't be back for hours." The look in his eyes was positively feral, something that Speedy had seen before, but never directed at him.

"The matter of Raven is what we wished to speak of with you," Starfire's voice came from somewhere to his right. It was devoid of its usual innocence and perkiness. She sounded downright primal. His western friends were seriously beginning to creep him out.

"Wait… so I'm going to be here and not even get to see Raven?"

"You seeing Raven just so happens to be the problem," Robin informed him quietly, but with no less intensity than if he had been shouting.

Beast Boy's voice came from above him, where he was leaning over the back of the chair. "Well, you see, we just wanted to have a little chat with you. Since, you know, you're Raven's boyfriend and all. We just… want to get to know you better." He grinned, and the dim light (what the hell was this, some kind of cop show parody?) glinted off of his fang.

"You're Raven's first real boyfriend," Cyborg explained before Speedy got a chance to ask. He wondered whether that was a good thing. "And we aren't used to sharing her with anybody." The archer was infinitely glad that the cybernetic teen didn't smile, or he might have wet his pants right then and there.

"What, so are you guys going to 'budget my time' with her, or something?" he snorted, thinking that he pulled off the careless tone of voice rather well, considering the circumstances.

Sheets of paper slid in front of him almost before the sentence left his mouth. Feeling distinctly claustrophobic, with the four superheroes that he had previously considered friends closing in on him and cutting off his air space, he picked them up. Brows rose and his mask mimicked as Speedy glanced over what he now thought to be the most ridiculous thing that they had done to or given him in the epic three minutes he had been here.

Leave it to Robin to draw up a schedule.

It was color coded. He shouldn't have been expecting anything else, but still. Raven's time was _color coded_. Who did that? No one but the Boy Wonder, that's who. He needed to get laid or something, because that boy was wound tighter than a spring.

Speedy reluctantly looked it over more carefully. Starfire was purple, Robin was red, Cyborg was blue and Beast Boy was green. Speedy was yellow, and 'Raven's Special Time' was just white. There seemed quite an unfair proportion of Speedy Time than even Raven's time with Beast Boy. And what was he, chopped liver?

---

"This is… what's that word that Aqualad likes to use all the time? Oh yeah: _ludicrous_." He threw the stapled papers down on the table and challenged Robin with his gaze, which had hardened in determination. "No way are you guys going to control when I spend time with _my _girlfriend. Not only am I not going to let you, but Rae's not going to have any of it either."

They plowed on as though he hadn't said anything. Beast Boy somehow (Speedy really needed to get to know these guys better; he thought that the changeling had no coordination whatsoever) vaulted right over his head and landed easily on the table, blocking Robin from view. For once, the teen didn't seem to mind.

A slim gloved finger poked into his chest. "Raven has to fill her quota of making fun of me at least once every day. That means, that even if she is staying at the East Tower she has to be able to call me _at least once a day_."

Speedy was ready to shrug his consent; that didn't seem _too _bad. And they could work around it. But Beast Boy wasn't finished.

"I'm working on my ability to draw her out of her shell and her comfort zone, 'cause I've been getting better at that lately, so bothering her frequently is a must." His look clearly dared Speedy to argue the point.

He was about to do just that, when Starfire took over. It was surprising how one of the skinniest girls he had seen in his entire life could suddenly take up so much space. He found himself wondering (irrationally, he knew), whether the red hair color was natural, or if she dyed it in the blood of her enemies.

"Raven is a possession of mine on the afternoon of Wednesdays." Her green eyes told him that there would be no ifs, ands or buts about it. "We both visit the mall of shopping and we do this each week unless there interrupts an emergency." The green orbs narrowed dangerously. "There will not be a problem with this, yes?"

"Uh…"

The alien suddenly hefted him out of his chair effortlessly with one hand, holding him above her head by the front of his shirt. She made sure that he was making complete eye contact with her before continuing. "Speedy, if you ever hurt Raven, I will do the snapping of your bones." She tightened her fist and shook him slightly to show him just how capable she was of carrying out her threat.

Speedy chuckled nervously, eyes shifting from side to side. He had once seen the girl lift a telephone pole off of Robin, and then use the thing as a baseball bat to "home run" Johnny Rancid so hard he practically flew into the next dimension. He had no doubt that she could crush him like a twig before Robin could say "Holy hippopotamus, Batman!"

Cyborg stood by Starfire's shoulder, a calm, yet interested expression on his face. He, too, laid out his rules for dating Raven. This was clearly starting to get out of control.

"Sundays are our days. Rae and I spend the morning working on the T-car. Then we go have lunch together. Everyone knows that they need to leave us be, so it is our alone time together, and _no one _is allowed to interrupt it, understand?"

Speedy gave a noncommittal shrug, gathering his courage to start arguing with them as best he could. That, or scream at the top of his lungs. He wasn't quite sure which sounded more appealing at the moment.

Robin joined the rest of his team, giving Speedy one of the dirtiest looks he had ever received. "Raven and I always have time for each other. It doesn't matter what one of us is doing; we'll drop it in order to help the other. Do you understand what that means? It means that Raven has to be ready to come whenever. Any time at all."

That was bullshit, plain and simple. Speedy didn't believe a word of that utter crap, smirking at the snorts that came from Robin's teammates. It seemed that he overestimated himself when it came to 'dropping and running to help'. And there was no way that if he and Raven were doing something that she would leave him for anything less than an alert.

The young man knew that. Just as surely as he knew that Robin would kick his ass if he disagreed, no matter who had the bow and arrows. The archer sighed, hoping that this would be over soon. They couldn't keep him in here forever, could they?

---

Speedy's head was buried in his arms on the table, wondering how long he had been stuck in this room, and whether they would be running out of oxygen soon or not. The intimidation that he had previously felt was still lurking in the background of his consciousness, but it had been overtaken by boredom. There was no telling how much longer these lectures would go on, and the archer was positive that he wouldn't remember even half of what they were telling him.

So, what was the point?

The redhead thought that this was a rather good argument. He lifted his head blearily, albeit with a purpose, not really listening to what they were saying to him. He focused on Starfire, who was the one most directly in his line of vision. "Hey guys…" he slurred slightly. After clearing his throat, he went on, sitting up straighter, "Hey guys, if I'm not going to remember any of this, why should I even be in here? You're just wasting your time."

They ignored him. They were _ignoring _him! He growled low in his throat and started to stand up, hoping that his height (he was taller than Beast Boy and Robin, definitely) would give him a little more leverage against these guys when Starfire faced him completely and poked a finger into his chest, hard.

Which, coming from her, hurt. A lot. That was definitely going to bruise.

And it shut him up. He rubbed at the tender spot, glaring at the four heroes. How was it possible for them to become the most annoying people he knew in a matter of minutes? Or was it hours? He couldn't tell while he was stuck in a damn coat room.

"Presents," Starfire said, with encouraging nods coming from the other three in the background. She leaned, palms flat, on the metal table to reduce the amount of space in between them. "We must speak about gifts that you may give to Raven."

Brows rose nearly to a hairline, and Speedy gaped, forgetting his newest injury. "The gifts I'm going to give Raven are going to be regulated?! What the hell…?!"

Cyborg crossed his arms, interrupting his spluttering disbelief. "Of course. First things first; you will always get Raven a gift on holidays, anniversaries, and her birthdays. She's going to tell you that materials items are not things that she needs to know someone cares about her-"

"It's not true," Beast Boy interjected.

"Right," Cyborg continued as though no one had said anything, nodding to Beast Boy for his input. "It's not true. The fact that someone is thinking about her while they are shopping enough to get her something is a fact that Raven appreciates and cherishes. You get her presents. End of story."

Robin stepped up to the plate, beside his friends. "Now. The presents that you are allowed to get her." There was a pause, almost as though he was putting together a mental list and didn't want to leave anything out.

"Let's start with the most obvious thing; books." A glare was sent his way. "Books are off-limits when it comes to presents that you're going to give Raven."

This startled Speedy. "What? But then how am I supposed to get her something if I can't get her books? She likes books, everyone knows that, and I can walk into a bookstore and pick out something for her easily-"

Beast Boy frowned, this time looking more upset than angry and put up a hand to stall Speedy's protests. "That's just it." He said to him, as though the archer was daft. "_Everyone_ gets her a book. And although everyone else can get away with it, we're also not the ones dating her."

Speedy still didn't quite understand. "But, I…"

"Speedy." Robin brought his scattered attention back into focus with just his name. "You're expected to know Raven well enough to get her something else that you know she will enjoy besides a book. If you don't, you can't be a very good boyfriend, can you?"

This was actually a decent argument. It gave him something to ponder. And it left a thought buzzing around Speedy's head; maybe they really were doing this to help him on some level. The redhead glanced at the four teens giving him the evil eye and winced imperceptibly. Maybe.

"So, in the category of presents…" he began, continuing almost absent-mindedly along this course of conversation. However, before he could finish anything, he was cut off again. Damn. That was really, _really _getting annoying.

"Dude, I don't want to know," Cyborg informed him, closing his eye and sighing. "Anything else that you get Raven is really beyond me. But if you get her one of…" a moment of hesitance where the mechanical man made a slight noise of disgust, "Of _your_ presents I better sure as hell not see it."

The archer grinned. Now that Cyborg mentioned it, there was this store that he had been meaning to take Raven to, if only to freak her out a bit… she was so cute when she was flustered…

"It'll get confiscated." Robin stated bluntly. Speedy refrained from making a comment about Robin's bedroom preferences and who exactly would be in that bedroom with said black-haired, stick-up-ass masked leader. He knew that it wouldn't help his case.

"What else is there?" asked Beast Boy out loud, pacing back and forth with his hand on his chin like a murder detective. "Do you think that we can move onto the small things now?"

After a brief huddle in the corner which reminded Speedy of a gang brainstorming the best ways to torture a captured victim, the four moved back to stand around him like they had when he had first been dragged by his collar into the coat room. He braced himself, praying that they would get bored of this sometime soon.

"Small things like what?" was the tentative question that escaped his lips before he could stop it. He immediately regretted the inquiry once he saw the glint in his friends' eyes and pushed his chair back as far as he could from them.

"I think we'll let Star handle this one first," Robin smirked, the satisfaction in his voice practically dripping onto the floor.

Starfire nodded and stepped up, sitting on the edge of the table as the boys faded into the background and slipped out the door. Speedy's eyes flicked longingly to it, but he remained in his place; the alien was not someone to be crossed, and if he decided to run, he knew what was waiting for him on the other side of that door.

Starfire smiled, flicking her red hair over her shoulder and settling herself more comfortably. "Speedy." She began with simply his name. "You are the first friend who is a boy that Raven has had. It is a joyous thing, is it not?" she look expectantly at him.

Was he supposed to say something? "Er…"

"I am happy for her. She seems to smile much more, and she does not stay in her room as much as she used to. Her expression sometimes contains a light within that makes her glow…" the girl trailed off dreamily, staring off into space. What the hell was going on? What was Starfire getting at? He had to tread carefully here… this was Raven's best friend talking.

"She is a very beautiful girl, is she not?"

_What _was with this girl's mood swings?! Could she _please_ just _choose one_? "She's gorgeous. Her eyes are the best color I've ever seen, and her face has those soft lines that she sometimes tries to hide behind her frowns, but you know that they're really there-"

Starfire nodded. "That is correct. I am glad that you can see that as clearly as we can. Raven deserves the beauty that we can all see in her without looking." Her green eyes lost the friendliness as she moved onto her next statements. "So, Speedy. Should you do anything to make Raven question her beauty in any way, with her physical appearance, her emotions, or otherwise, I will destroy you."

Completely serious. Undeniably truthful. Fucking terrifying.

"I shall do the breaking of your bones, and will ensure that you can never have children. Then I shall speak with Bumblebee, and we will partake in the 'girls' revenge' which will include the murder of your reputation and the rumors begun behind your back." Starfire crossed her legs and smoothed out her purple skirt. She looked as though she handed out death threats every day.

All Speedy could come up was something that he was a bit surprised to find out was completely truthful. "I'm not planning on hurting her."

Starfire smiled predatorily. "Good. I do not wish to remove your limbs."

---

And now here he was, standing outside of the coat closet and pounding on the door. How ironic.

"You all just took turns threatening the life out of me and now you've locked me out of the damn coat room after saying, 'We'll let you make the rest of the mistakes on your own,'?! You guys need to take your freaking meds! What mistakes am I going to be making?!"

His only response from the interior was muffled laughter.

"Make more mistakes than usual, you mean?" a calm voice asked from behind him, making Speedy whip around in shock and nearly overbalance right into the arms of the woman who was had been the topic of discussion for the entire time that he had been in the West Tower.

"Raven!" the archer exclaimed, trying to gather his wits about him and prevent himself from looking like even more of an idiot in front of his girlfriend. He was already pounding on the door of the coat room and shouting; he did not want to make it worse. "I didn't know you were here!"

An eyebrow rose as Raven crossed her arms, her expression giving away nothing. "I live here."

"Aha…" he chuckled nervously. "Of course you do. You're part of Titans West, this is the West Tower…"

The empath's other brow rose to join the first before she sighed and let herself relax. "I don't think I even want to know," she stated simply, moving around him towards the kitchen without a backwards glance.

Speedy was stunned, but he was shaken out of it by the innocent question thrown his way. "What are you doing here, Speedy? It's quite sudden, don't you think?"

"Um…"

Brilliant violet eyes rose to meet his, somehow finding them through the mask, as she always could, and the heroine shook her head. "Never mind, I don't think I want to know that either."

As this one-sided conversation was taking place, her four teammates managed to slip out of the coat closet and scatter themselves throughout the control room, looking for the world like they had been there the entire time, and hadn't just locked Speedy in that room for an unknown amount of time.

Raven couldn't have been fooled. She would have seen them as soon as she came in. But she was either less perceptive than most thought or she didn't care, for she continued making herself a cup of tea without looking up.

Speedy didn't really know what to do with himself. He began to move so that he could help Raven with her beverage when Cyborg voice floated almost lazily above his head and deposited words at his feet. With great effort, he forced his ears to listen. "Hey Rae, isn't it your month anniversary with Speedy on Saturday?"

She glanced up in surprise that he had remembered, but the look in her eyes gave her away. She was touched. "It is."

And as Speedy turned to look at Cyborg, also astonished that he had gone through the trouble of memorizing the dates, he locked gazes with him. Cyborg's expression made him work to swallow and he turned back to Raven, his mind racing.

No books, no books, no books…

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**Author's Notes:**

Thanks to my wonderful beta, ScarlettInk, who actually did not have all that much to say about this (a first, let me assure you). I had a lot of fun writing this, even though it was my first time writing Speedy, really. And I managed to stuff a lot of ships that I liked in there, even if they were not explicitly stated. Can you guess what there was? xD

I hope you all enjoyed, and I hope that you'll forgive me for my sad lack of updates... school is sapping up all of my time. Like a leech. A teacher-filled leech. With hallways for veins. Yuck.

Review, if you feel so inclined. ^_^


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